It’s that time of year again – back to school. Now, it’s some years since I went to school and I don’t have any children of my own, yet I’m still conscious that it’s back to school time. I’m resisting the urge to go and buy a new pencil case, though in my view there are few ills that can’t be solved with some quality stationery.
Back to school is a bit like Spring, a feeling of something new starting, the next phase getting underway. Those of us lucky enough to have been on holiday – or even who made the most of the bank holiday weekend – will be feeling reinvigorated and ready to get stuck in again.
In my life, today marks the one year anniversary of my freelance working life. That being the case, I’ve scheduled time to have a review meeting with myself, look at what took place in the past twelve months, and what I’d like to see happen in the next twelve.
As always with exercises like this, it’s an opportunity to remember some of the things I’d forgotten about, celebrate some successes, build upon the things that surprised me and guard against the things I found tricky - short, dark days of winter, I’ll have more planned treats this year for a start!
If it’s been a while since you took a pause to reflect on where you are, where you’ve been and where you’re going, why not do so now as we move into the autumn term. We’ll be crashing into Christmas before you know it!
Wednesday, 1 September 2010
Wednesday, 7 April 2010
When do we start to qualify our success?
When the occasion demands it, I like to use scaling in my coaching sessions – I see the person being coached surprised by all that’s already going well for them once they’re asked to name it and identify what can be done next to move things along. I’ve never had a coachee score themselves higher than seven on their particular issue, which I suppose is no surprise, as it’s an issue, but I do wonder would a grown-up ever give themselves a 10/10?
What strikes me is that even when something’s going really well, we’ll play it down. I know it’s not attractive to show off, but surely there’s a balance?
I’m all for people wanting to be the best they can be – it’s why I do what I do – and I want them to celebrate reaching their achievement before striving for the stretch goal they’ve made or moving on to the next thing.
Each morning on his Radio Two programme, Chris Evans talks to children who are going to be doing something for the first time that day. They then come back the next day to say how it went and score their efforts out of ten. Without hesitation, they’re all in there with ten or at worst nine, and sometimes higher than ten. I like that they don’t worry that whatever they’ve done might not have been perfect, or could have been better in some way. ‘Did you ride your bike without stabilisers for the first time today?’ and if the answer’s yes, they’re straight in there with a 10 – none of this faffing about round six or seven you get with most adults and ‘well, it could’ve gone better, it took me a while and I ran over my Dad’s foot…’ In their eyes, they did what they aimed to do and so, without question it’s a ten, and I like that.
One little girl didn’t complete her challenge – she was going to shot the putt (is that right?) for the first time that day. When she called in the next morning, Chris asked if she’d done it. No, they’d been rained off and so the event had been postponed. Chris was sympathetic, asked for her score and went on to say he guessed it’d be a zero as she’d not been able to attempt her challenge, but she was straight in there with a three! She’d decided, she’d done all of the preparation and so deserved some recognition for her efforts. After all, it wasn’t her fault it had rained, she’d done all that was required of her – bar the final step.
I wonder when we stop being certain of our right to a ten, because we do. Whilst I recognise that this is part of growing up, I do think it’s rather a shame.
What strikes me is that even when something’s going really well, we’ll play it down. I know it’s not attractive to show off, but surely there’s a balance?
I’m all for people wanting to be the best they can be – it’s why I do what I do – and I want them to celebrate reaching their achievement before striving for the stretch goal they’ve made or moving on to the next thing.
Each morning on his Radio Two programme, Chris Evans talks to children who are going to be doing something for the first time that day. They then come back the next day to say how it went and score their efforts out of ten. Without hesitation, they’re all in there with ten or at worst nine, and sometimes higher than ten. I like that they don’t worry that whatever they’ve done might not have been perfect, or could have been better in some way. ‘Did you ride your bike without stabilisers for the first time today?’ and if the answer’s yes, they’re straight in there with a 10 – none of this faffing about round six or seven you get with most adults and ‘well, it could’ve gone better, it took me a while and I ran over my Dad’s foot…’ In their eyes, they did what they aimed to do and so, without question it’s a ten, and I like that.
One little girl didn’t complete her challenge – she was going to shot the putt (is that right?) for the first time that day. When she called in the next morning, Chris asked if she’d done it. No, they’d been rained off and so the event had been postponed. Chris was sympathetic, asked for her score and went on to say he guessed it’d be a zero as she’d not been able to attempt her challenge, but she was straight in there with a three! She’d decided, she’d done all of the preparation and so deserved some recognition for her efforts. After all, it wasn’t her fault it had rained, she’d done all that was required of her – bar the final step.
I wonder when we stop being certain of our right to a ten, because we do. Whilst I recognise that this is part of growing up, I do think it’s rather a shame.
Wednesday, 17 March 2010
Tell me what you want…
People are often frustrated because they don’t have what they want – the right job, the right relationship, the right home… They can tell you all the things they don’t want, but not always what it is that they do want.
If we’re not clear about what we want, it’s hardly surprising that we feel that we don’t have it!
Knowing what it is we don’t want can be a useful starting point and for some, it can motivate them into taking action to avoid it. However, it’s not a productive thinking place to spend much time. Much more useful to move towards figuring out what it is we really want and then how to make that happen.
This can take some work – not least because of the inner chatter which will try and dissuade us from the new and exciting. A good starting point and one which deals with this internal naysayer is:
‘If you could be certain of success, what would you do?’
Once you can answer that question, fill it out, add the detail. Once you know what you want, you’ll have a much better chance of making it happen not least because you can work out how to do that and you’ll recognise it when it becomes real.
If we’re not clear about what we want, it’s hardly surprising that we feel that we don’t have it!
Knowing what it is we don’t want can be a useful starting point and for some, it can motivate them into taking action to avoid it. However, it’s not a productive thinking place to spend much time. Much more useful to move towards figuring out what it is we really want and then how to make that happen.
This can take some work – not least because of the inner chatter which will try and dissuade us from the new and exciting. A good starting point and one which deals with this internal naysayer is:
‘If you could be certain of success, what would you do?’
Once you can answer that question, fill it out, add the detail. Once you know what you want, you’ll have a much better chance of making it happen not least because you can work out how to do that and you’ll recognise it when it becomes real.
Wednesday, 17 February 2010
Lent – give up something good
As you know, today’s the first day of Lent when it’s traditional to give up something after the excesses of Shrove Tuesday – which seem pretty tame by 2010 standards. I can report that I made pancakes from scratch last night and without starting a house fire! So, the first thing I’ll be stopping is late night carbs – bad, bad, bad!
In recent years, I’ve noticed a trend towards taking something up rather than stopping a thing for the forty days of Lent. Whilst I appreciate this isn’t Lent proper, I’m all for whatever helps people make positive change in their lives, and it does come at a handy time to have another crack at those New Year’s resolutions.
I’ve had mixed success over the years with my Lenten commitments. The year I decided that I’d give up chocolate was going quite well until I realised that three weeks was only just halfway there. The same length of time again seemed beyond me and I caved with the view that if I was to give up something that I really liked, nearly six weeks was far too long a time to do it. Same story in the wine years.
I appreciate the irony here and that the self test is exactly that of giving up something you enjoy for a substantial period of time. However, I know that I – along with many others – am poor at deprivation, and that self care is an important part of being the best we can be.
So, I’m going to be giving up the negative self talk – you know the stuff. All the undermining chat we do to ourselves which holds us back. I know it won’t be easy – it’s a strongly ingrained habit that we do subconsciously – and I also know it’ll be really good for me to stop.
What will you do?
As writing things down helps with commitment:
I commit to stopping negative self talk for this period of Lent. Oh, and late night carbs too – in for a penny…
In recent years, I’ve noticed a trend towards taking something up rather than stopping a thing for the forty days of Lent. Whilst I appreciate this isn’t Lent proper, I’m all for whatever helps people make positive change in their lives, and it does come at a handy time to have another crack at those New Year’s resolutions.
I’ve had mixed success over the years with my Lenten commitments. The year I decided that I’d give up chocolate was going quite well until I realised that three weeks was only just halfway there. The same length of time again seemed beyond me and I caved with the view that if I was to give up something that I really liked, nearly six weeks was far too long a time to do it. Same story in the wine years.
I appreciate the irony here and that the self test is exactly that of giving up something you enjoy for a substantial period of time. However, I know that I – along with many others – am poor at deprivation, and that self care is an important part of being the best we can be.
So, I’m going to be giving up the negative self talk – you know the stuff. All the undermining chat we do to ourselves which holds us back. I know it won’t be easy – it’s a strongly ingrained habit that we do subconsciously – and I also know it’ll be really good for me to stop.
What will you do?
As writing things down helps with commitment:
I commit to stopping negative self talk for this period of Lent. Oh, and late night carbs too – in for a penny…
Sunday, 7 February 2010
International Coaching Week 2010
February 7th – 14th is the 15th International Coaching Week (ICW) organised by the International Coach Federation (ICF) of which I’m a member. The purpose of ICW is to educate the public about what coaching is and the benefits of working with a professional coach.
In this spirit, I’m offering free on line coaching for the whole of International Coaching Week to anyone who fancies it. Please get in touch if you do and also let others know about this.
Send e-mails to me at maggie@maggie-smith.co.uk
As I said, this coaching is available for free. I know some people are uncomfortable with something for nothing, so if you’d like to part with some cash, there are a number of charities I support and if you feel so moved you can make a donation to any of these – though please don’t feel obliged to do so.
Help for Heroes http://www.justgiving.com/MaggieSmithCoaching
The Alzheimers Society http://www.justgiving.com/MaggieSmithCoachingDonate
The City of London Migraine Clinic http://www.migraineclinic.org.uk/
If you’d like to more about International Coaching Week, here’s the link http://www.coachfederation.org/coachingweek/
In this spirit, I’m offering free on line coaching for the whole of International Coaching Week to anyone who fancies it. Please get in touch if you do and also let others know about this.
Send e-mails to me at maggie@maggie-smith.co.uk
As I said, this coaching is available for free. I know some people are uncomfortable with something for nothing, so if you’d like to part with some cash, there are a number of charities I support and if you feel so moved you can make a donation to any of these – though please don’t feel obliged to do so.
Help for Heroes http://www.justgiving.com/MaggieSmithCoaching
The Alzheimers Society http://www.justgiving.com/MaggieSmithCoachingDonate
The City of London Migraine Clinic http://www.migraineclinic.org.uk/
If you’d like to more about International Coaching Week, here’s the link http://www.coachfederation.org/coachingweek/
Saturday, 6 February 2010
New Year’s Resolution #5
A lot of us decide that in the New Year we’re going to be better at managing our money – often brought on by wondering on how we’re going to make it to the end of January after the expense of Christmas. Given that we’re now into February, we made it – hurrah!
If managing your money well doesn’t come naturally, don’t despair – there’s plenty of help out there from independent financial advisors (word of mouth the best way of finding a good one, if you don’t know anyone who has one, who do you know who manages his/her money well and ask them who they use) to organisations such as the Consumer Credit Counselling Service.
We sometimes make this decision because there’s something we want to save up for – as always be clear about what this is and what the benefits are to you and others of making this a reality. What are the repercussions if you can’t make this happen? Is there another way? I don’t mean stealing! If it’s something you want to buy, can you shop around – the internet has surely revolutionised the way we shop for everything – if you want to learn a new skill and can’t afford the training, is there an organisation for which you can volunteer and gain the skills that way?
Once you’ve reached your goal – let’s be positive – why not keep going? By that time you’ll have made the habit, which is the hard bit and there’s bound to be something else you’d like to save for. Keep going then you’ve made a long-term positive change out of a short-term goal.
As with all things – balance. T Harv Eker writes about money and our attitudes to it – he’s over in London later this month running his three day workshop on what it is that rich people do differently from the rest of us, which is great in a very shouty American which may not be to everyone’s taste. He maintains that we’re as rich as we are, and as adept at managing our money as we are because of our conditioning. That our outer wealth – or lack – is a demonstration of our beliefs which can, of course be changed.
He talks about balance and teaches a really simple method of achieving this – he’s big on simplification too. In his method, of course saving has its place, but he cautions against saving becoming a dominant habit, remember balance. To counteract this, and to keep the necessary discipline to keep saving for those who need that motivation, he also has a play fund which has to be spent at least once a month on something that is a pleasure or fun, a splurge.
Harv also says that you don’t need much to start this habit, whatever you can manage. The important thing is that you start to make a difference. Whatever you decide, don’t be having the same money conversation with yourself next New Year.
If managing your money well doesn’t come naturally, don’t despair – there’s plenty of help out there from independent financial advisors (word of mouth the best way of finding a good one, if you don’t know anyone who has one, who do you know who manages his/her money well and ask them who they use) to organisations such as the Consumer Credit Counselling Service.
We sometimes make this decision because there’s something we want to save up for – as always be clear about what this is and what the benefits are to you and others of making this a reality. What are the repercussions if you can’t make this happen? Is there another way? I don’t mean stealing! If it’s something you want to buy, can you shop around – the internet has surely revolutionised the way we shop for everything – if you want to learn a new skill and can’t afford the training, is there an organisation for which you can volunteer and gain the skills that way?
Once you’ve reached your goal – let’s be positive – why not keep going? By that time you’ll have made the habit, which is the hard bit and there’s bound to be something else you’d like to save for. Keep going then you’ve made a long-term positive change out of a short-term goal.
As with all things – balance. T Harv Eker writes about money and our attitudes to it – he’s over in London later this month running his three day workshop on what it is that rich people do differently from the rest of us, which is great in a very shouty American which may not be to everyone’s taste. He maintains that we’re as rich as we are, and as adept at managing our money as we are because of our conditioning. That our outer wealth – or lack – is a demonstration of our beliefs which can, of course be changed.
He talks about balance and teaches a really simple method of achieving this – he’s big on simplification too. In his method, of course saving has its place, but he cautions against saving becoming a dominant habit, remember balance. To counteract this, and to keep the necessary discipline to keep saving for those who need that motivation, he also has a play fund which has to be spent at least once a month on something that is a pleasure or fun, a splurge.
Harv also says that you don’t need much to start this habit, whatever you can manage. The important thing is that you start to make a difference. Whatever you decide, don’t be having the same money conversation with yourself next New Year.
Wednesday, 3 February 2010
New Year's Resolution #4
New year, new job
This is a common one. People who would usually move job sit tight from November postponing action until after Christmas. This together with increased reflection time over the holiday period persuades people that it’s the right time to make a change. Summer holidays can often have a similar result. More often than not, action is not taken before life as usual takes over again and there’s no time left to look for new work. And for many people that’s fine.
However, what if you really do want to change the job you do or where you work?
Firstly, ask yourself what it is that you like about your current job, and there will be something, so keep asking until you come up with something and that what it is that you would like to be different. This will help you to identify if you like the sort of work you do but would like to do it somewhere else or if you like where you work but not what you do, or none of the above.
A recurring theme in coaching sessions with people who are thinking about the work they want to do is that they’re not sure what it is that they want to do. The above questions will go some way to working that out. But here’s one, you have to pretend for a moment, so tell the nay saying voice in your head to take the next hour off – tell them for longer if you’re up for it, but that’s the subject of a whole different post.
If money were no object, whatever you decide to do the money you earn will buy you the lifestyle you want for yourself what would you do?
What sort of things would crop up in your day?
Where would you be? In one place? Indoors or out? In this town or another? In this country or another?
What sort of clothes would you be wearing?
Would you be working by yourself or with others, and if with others, what sort of people are they and what’s your relationship with them?
How would you feel at the end of your working day?
How would you feel as you get ready for the start of your working day?
Now, what sort of work will bring you those things?
Add to the questions. Mine is by no means a definitive list, just something to get you started.
Have some patience with this, it might take you a while to think this through and be creative about how you do that. If you think best in the bath or on a walk where there’s green, off you go. If you think better working at a keyboard or drawing on a huge piece of paper do that. No one need know but you, though of course you can work with someone else if you want to.
When you feel you have a good idea of the sort of thing you want to do, or the sort of place you’d like to work, plan backwards to today – remember, begin with the end in mind. That way you’ll know what you need to do first and can make a start.
I hope this helps
This is a common one. People who would usually move job sit tight from November postponing action until after Christmas. This together with increased reflection time over the holiday period persuades people that it’s the right time to make a change. Summer holidays can often have a similar result. More often than not, action is not taken before life as usual takes over again and there’s no time left to look for new work. And for many people that’s fine.
However, what if you really do want to change the job you do or where you work?
Firstly, ask yourself what it is that you like about your current job, and there will be something, so keep asking until you come up with something and that what it is that you would like to be different. This will help you to identify if you like the sort of work you do but would like to do it somewhere else or if you like where you work but not what you do, or none of the above.
A recurring theme in coaching sessions with people who are thinking about the work they want to do is that they’re not sure what it is that they want to do. The above questions will go some way to working that out. But here’s one, you have to pretend for a moment, so tell the nay saying voice in your head to take the next hour off – tell them for longer if you’re up for it, but that’s the subject of a whole different post.
If money were no object, whatever you decide to do the money you earn will buy you the lifestyle you want for yourself what would you do?
What sort of things would crop up in your day?
Where would you be? In one place? Indoors or out? In this town or another? In this country or another?
What sort of clothes would you be wearing?
Would you be working by yourself or with others, and if with others, what sort of people are they and what’s your relationship with them?
How would you feel at the end of your working day?
How would you feel as you get ready for the start of your working day?
Now, what sort of work will bring you those things?
Add to the questions. Mine is by no means a definitive list, just something to get you started.
Have some patience with this, it might take you a while to think this through and be creative about how you do that. If you think best in the bath or on a walk where there’s green, off you go. If you think better working at a keyboard or drawing on a huge piece of paper do that. No one need know but you, though of course you can work with someone else if you want to.
When you feel you have a good idea of the sort of thing you want to do, or the sort of place you’d like to work, plan backwards to today – remember, begin with the end in mind. That way you’ll know what you need to do first and can make a start.
I hope this helps
New Year's Resolution #3
Sorry about the gap - weary tales...
Another top ten resolution is to learn something new – pass an exam, learn a language or acquire a new skill.
As always, success will follow if you follow the top tips for new year’s resolutions (2nd Jan post) – what is it that has made you decide to learn something new? A common choice, is learning to speak a new language, often so that we can talk to the locals on our summer holiday rather than assuming that everyone can speak English. This choice is probably linked to the fact that at the start of the year our days are short and cold – especially this year when I didn’t think I’d ever feel the warmth of the sun on my skin again, I’m still not quite convinced – together with the Boxing Day tradition of running summer holiday adverts – along with those for new sofas, what’s with that?
Anyway, to have best chance of making it stick, begin with the end in sight. Be clear about why you want to learn this new thing and what the benefits of doing so will be to you.
Next, do some research – make sure that you can afford the undertaking in both time and money, don’t let either of these reasons be an excuse for not going ahead though, find a work around. If you really want to do it, you’ll find one and if you don’t, fine, go with the excuse, better now than when you’re underway. Giving up is so depressing.
As always, make sure you’re clear of the benefits. These will keep you going when it’s much easier to curl up in front of the fire and watch TV rather than take action.
If you can, get a study-buddy. Great if it’s someone with whom you can share the same experience. But if not, someone else who is committing to learn something new too will definitely do. You can help keep each other going, you have that responsibility to someone other than yourself and you can congratulate each other on your progress as you go along.
Use what’s out there. There are so many resources available to help – including financial help. This goes back to the research. Find out what’s available to you for what you want to do and make use of it to help you reach your goal – learn from others who’ve trodden the path and made it.
It might not always be easy, but if it’s worthwhile, that won’t matter by the time you get to the end. It’ll just be one more cause for celebration. It wasn’t easy, but you were resilient and kept going – possibly another skill you’ll have learnt.
Good luck!
Another top ten resolution is to learn something new – pass an exam, learn a language or acquire a new skill.
As always, success will follow if you follow the top tips for new year’s resolutions (2nd Jan post) – what is it that has made you decide to learn something new? A common choice, is learning to speak a new language, often so that we can talk to the locals on our summer holiday rather than assuming that everyone can speak English. This choice is probably linked to the fact that at the start of the year our days are short and cold – especially this year when I didn’t think I’d ever feel the warmth of the sun on my skin again, I’m still not quite convinced – together with the Boxing Day tradition of running summer holiday adverts – along with those for new sofas, what’s with that?
Anyway, to have best chance of making it stick, begin with the end in sight. Be clear about why you want to learn this new thing and what the benefits of doing so will be to you.
Next, do some research – make sure that you can afford the undertaking in both time and money, don’t let either of these reasons be an excuse for not going ahead though, find a work around. If you really want to do it, you’ll find one and if you don’t, fine, go with the excuse, better now than when you’re underway. Giving up is so depressing.
As always, make sure you’re clear of the benefits. These will keep you going when it’s much easier to curl up in front of the fire and watch TV rather than take action.
If you can, get a study-buddy. Great if it’s someone with whom you can share the same experience. But if not, someone else who is committing to learn something new too will definitely do. You can help keep each other going, you have that responsibility to someone other than yourself and you can congratulate each other on your progress as you go along.
Use what’s out there. There are so many resources available to help – including financial help. This goes back to the research. Find out what’s available to you for what you want to do and make use of it to help you reach your goal – learn from others who’ve trodden the path and made it.
It might not always be easy, but if it’s worthwhile, that won’t matter by the time you get to the end. It’ll just be one more cause for celebration. It wasn’t easy, but you were resilient and kept going – possibly another skill you’ll have learnt.
Good luck!
Monday, 11 January 2010
New Year's Resolution #2
Get organised - another common resolution – by the way, you’ll notice that these continue to come although it’s not January 1st. This is because that doesn’t matter. Whenever you decide to make a difference is fine, don’t put it off till next year, or even next Monday.
Being organised is often lumped together with decluttering. While you can do one without the other, it’s really a two-step process. If it’s worth doing…
Refer back to the top ten tips, they hold true for all resolutions. Especially be clear about your reasons for wanting to do this – what are the benefits? The first step, the initial sorting and decluttering is often the most difficult – and time-consuming part – it gets much easier once you’ve done that. Plus knowing how much effort that took will motivate you to keep up the good work.
As always, don’t be extreme. Decluttering doesn’t mean throwing out everything – is minimalist still in, you see, it passed me by. William Morris said, ‘Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.’ The way I’ve chosen to interpret this in my life, is that if I love something, or it has sentimental worth to me, I don’t need to part with it, that stops me from feeling guilty that I’m not being brutal enough with my purge.
No one’s making you do this, it’s not like your mum making you tidy your room, so don’t approach it in that way. As with all tasks, break it down into manageable steps. Complete one area of your life, home, desk, whatever, then you have it there to prove that you can do it, experience the difference it has made to you and to motivate you to complete all the areas you wish to address.
Key to being organised is list-making in whatever guise it takes and whatever fancy name you want to give it – to do list, time management, project plan, gant chart – it’s how you’ll see everything that’s to be done, prioritise it and have a record of your progress. The satisfaction of crossing things off our to do list is not to be underestimated – I have a friend who includes things she’s already done so that she can start by crossing things off. Whatever gets you going. However, don’t kid yourself that the action of making a list is action in itself, it’s really not. It’s the first step in making progress, but it’s preparation rather than results.
Take action as soon as you can. If something is quick to do, do it. Don’t even take the time to put it on your list. In the time it takes to do that and review it, you could’ve done it. Having beaten my piles of filing, I now deal with post as it arrives. When I pick post up from the mat, I open it straight away and decide what to do with it. An awful lot goes straight in the recycling which I found to be a bit positive step in itself, it didn’t even get a chance to make my admin pile any larger.
At The Work Foundation, I attended a great workshop run by the Enterprise Development Group about innovation. One of the most useful tools I learnt on that course that I’ve used with coaching clients since is a way of prioritising our tasks. Make a grid of four boxes. On the vertical axis is URGENT - LESS URGENT and on the horizontal axis IMPORTANT - INTERESTING. (You'll gather from this, I can't manage to draw this on here. Drop me a note if you'd like me to e-mail this to you).
Write your tasks into the quadrant which is most appropriate – it helps prioritise when you feel overwhelmed by all there is to be done.
Once you’ve organised yourself, keep doing it, otherwise you’ve only completed the first couple of steps towards your goal which is about being organised. Sorting yourself out in the first instance is what you need to do so that you can be organised.
If you don’t like the sound of any of this. Find yourself a Virgo – they’re excellent at it and seem to like it…
Get organised - another common resolution – by the way, you’ll notice that these continue to come although it’s not January 1st. This is because that doesn’t matter. Whenever you decide to make a difference is fine, don’t put it off till next year, or even next Monday.
Being organised is often lumped together with decluttering. While you can do one without the other, it’s really a two-step process. If it’s worth doing…
Refer back to the top ten tips, they hold true for all resolutions. Especially be clear about your reasons for wanting to do this – what are the benefits? The first step, the initial sorting and decluttering is often the most difficult – and time-consuming part – it gets much easier once you’ve done that. Plus knowing how much effort that took will motivate you to keep up the good work.
As always, don’t be extreme. Decluttering doesn’t mean throwing out everything – is minimalist still in, you see, it passed me by. William Morris said, ‘Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.’ The way I’ve chosen to interpret this in my life, is that if I love something, or it has sentimental worth to me, I don’t need to part with it, that stops me from feeling guilty that I’m not being brutal enough with my purge.
No one’s making you do this, it’s not like your mum making you tidy your room, so don’t approach it in that way. As with all tasks, break it down into manageable steps. Complete one area of your life, home, desk, whatever, then you have it there to prove that you can do it, experience the difference it has made to you and to motivate you to complete all the areas you wish to address.
Key to being organised is list-making in whatever guise it takes and whatever fancy name you want to give it – to do list, time management, project plan, gant chart – it’s how you’ll see everything that’s to be done, prioritise it and have a record of your progress. The satisfaction of crossing things off our to do list is not to be underestimated – I have a friend who includes things she’s already done so that she can start by crossing things off. Whatever gets you going. However, don’t kid yourself that the action of making a list is action in itself, it’s really not. It’s the first step in making progress, but it’s preparation rather than results.
Take action as soon as you can. If something is quick to do, do it. Don’t even take the time to put it on your list. In the time it takes to do that and review it, you could’ve done it. Having beaten my piles of filing, I now deal with post as it arrives. When I pick post up from the mat, I open it straight away and decide what to do with it. An awful lot goes straight in the recycling which I found to be a bit positive step in itself, it didn’t even get a chance to make my admin pile any larger.
At The Work Foundation, I attended a great workshop run by the Enterprise Development Group about innovation. One of the most useful tools I learnt on that course that I’ve used with coaching clients since is a way of prioritising our tasks. Make a grid of four boxes. On the vertical axis is URGENT - LESS URGENT and on the horizontal axis IMPORTANT - INTERESTING. (You'll gather from this, I can't manage to draw this on here. Drop me a note if you'd like me to e-mail this to you).
Write your tasks into the quadrant which is most appropriate – it helps prioritise when you feel overwhelmed by all there is to be done.
Once you’ve organised yourself, keep doing it, otherwise you’ve only completed the first couple of steps towards your goal which is about being organised. Sorting yourself out in the first instance is what you need to do so that you can be organised.
If you don’t like the sound of any of this. Find yourself a Virgo – they’re excellent at it and seem to like it…
Tuesday, 5 January 2010
New Year’s Resolution #1
Told you I’d be back with more New Year’s stuff – this is one of five
Go to the gym, get thin…
I’ve rolled all the wellbeing goals together for the sake of this exercise – lose weight, get fit, exercise more…
Going to the gym is a good start, but you have to do something when you get there. It’s like joining a gym or buying a diet book thinking that will be enough. We know it’s not, but for some reason, there’s always this hope.
I asked Personal Trainer, Jonathan Owen how people who have these wellness goals as their New Year’s resolution can give themselves the best chance of success. He says it’s necessary to address three areas:
1. Exercise – the right variety and often enough
2. Diet – what you eat and when you eat it
3. Lifestyle – addressing bad habits, getting enough sleep…
He said that those most likely to succeed have clear motivation for making change – often a health scare which has shocked them into taking action – and are working with a professional to help them meet their targets. You can do it yourself, but as with many coaching topics, if we could do it, we’d already be doing so.
A wellness professional – like a Personal Trainer – should be able to work with you in all three areas. In terms of exercise, for instance, a personal trainer will make sure that you train ‘smart’, meaning that you have a balanced work out. You work in all areas of the gym, don’t just slog away on the cross trainer for half an hour while reading your paper and then have a little stretch. Smart training will result in weight loss, improved muscle tone, increased strength and better aerobic capacity.
A trainer will also give you new things to do all the time, this means that you develop your capability and don’t get bored when you have sessions by yourself. S/he will also help with motivation – it’s someone to answer to, and you’re paying them money, so you might as well get some benefit.
Jonathan says that as with many goals, it’s important to set your intention- why do you want improved wellness? Other than it being a ‘good thing’ know what your personal benefits will be. Be able to visualise yourself getting fit, or losing weight, and how you will be when you reach your goal – not just what you look like, but how you feel.
If it helps you, put pictures, photographs or encouraging words where you will see them often to keep you going. You’ll need this positive mind set to help you when you don’t feel like taking action – to get you to the gym and not let yourself off once you’re there. To step away from the pastry and have the fruit smoothie instead. And feel good about it.
As with all goals, know what your small steps are that are going to get you to your larger goal. Jonathan says, ‘Day-to-day change results in a year’s worth of difference’. Remind yourself of your progress as you go – look back to where you’ve come from as well as forwards to where you’re going. You can do this.
According to Jonathan, the two most important things to have to achieve your wellness goals are discipline and commitment – these you have to bring for yourself. He says it takes 90 days before you can see substantial difference, though smaller changes will be eveident sooner. He also recommends training every other day and at least 3-5 times a week. Don’t become obsessive though. Jonathan recommends the 80:20 rule – do what you’re meant to most of the time and you can afford to relax a bit one or two days a week. Remember, you’re doing this because you want to. He also doesn’t value fixating on weight. Rather than weighing yourself, it’s much better to review how you feel, how you look in the mirror, how your clothes are fitting, what others are noticing about you…
So, on you go, or do you not want to look better, feel better, reduce your stress, have better posture, have more energy, have improved self esteem, be able to run for the train without passing out…
Told you I’d be back with more New Year’s stuff – this is one of five
Go to the gym, get thin…
I’ve rolled all the wellbeing goals together for the sake of this exercise – lose weight, get fit, exercise more…
Going to the gym is a good start, but you have to do something when you get there. It’s like joining a gym or buying a diet book thinking that will be enough. We know it’s not, but for some reason, there’s always this hope.
I asked Personal Trainer, Jonathan Owen how people who have these wellness goals as their New Year’s resolution can give themselves the best chance of success. He says it’s necessary to address three areas:
1. Exercise – the right variety and often enough
2. Diet – what you eat and when you eat it
3. Lifestyle – addressing bad habits, getting enough sleep…
He said that those most likely to succeed have clear motivation for making change – often a health scare which has shocked them into taking action – and are working with a professional to help them meet their targets. You can do it yourself, but as with many coaching topics, if we could do it, we’d already be doing so.
A wellness professional – like a Personal Trainer – should be able to work with you in all three areas. In terms of exercise, for instance, a personal trainer will make sure that you train ‘smart’, meaning that you have a balanced work out. You work in all areas of the gym, don’t just slog away on the cross trainer for half an hour while reading your paper and then have a little stretch. Smart training will result in weight loss, improved muscle tone, increased strength and better aerobic capacity.
A trainer will also give you new things to do all the time, this means that you develop your capability and don’t get bored when you have sessions by yourself. S/he will also help with motivation – it’s someone to answer to, and you’re paying them money, so you might as well get some benefit.
Jonathan says that as with many goals, it’s important to set your intention- why do you want improved wellness? Other than it being a ‘good thing’ know what your personal benefits will be. Be able to visualise yourself getting fit, or losing weight, and how you will be when you reach your goal – not just what you look like, but how you feel.
If it helps you, put pictures, photographs or encouraging words where you will see them often to keep you going. You’ll need this positive mind set to help you when you don’t feel like taking action – to get you to the gym and not let yourself off once you’re there. To step away from the pastry and have the fruit smoothie instead. And feel good about it.
As with all goals, know what your small steps are that are going to get you to your larger goal. Jonathan says, ‘Day-to-day change results in a year’s worth of difference’. Remind yourself of your progress as you go – look back to where you’ve come from as well as forwards to where you’re going. You can do this.
According to Jonathan, the two most important things to have to achieve your wellness goals are discipline and commitment – these you have to bring for yourself. He says it takes 90 days before you can see substantial difference, though smaller changes will be eveident sooner. He also recommends training every other day and at least 3-5 times a week. Don’t become obsessive though. Jonathan recommends the 80:20 rule – do what you’re meant to most of the time and you can afford to relax a bit one or two days a week. Remember, you’re doing this because you want to. He also doesn’t value fixating on weight. Rather than weighing yourself, it’s much better to review how you feel, how you look in the mirror, how your clothes are fitting, what others are noticing about you…
So, on you go, or do you not want to look better, feel better, reduce your stress, have better posture, have more energy, have improved self esteem, be able to run for the train without passing out…
Saturday, 2 January 2010
Happy New Year!
Those of you who know me, will know that I can be a little contrary. I don’t really hold with New Year’s Resolutions – why should I do something just because everyone else is? I prefer to work to new goals when it makes sense to me to do so, I like Spring in terms of feeling of new beginnings. Not in terms of the first day of Spring, but that day when you first notice that the windows need washing.
If you’re going to have a crack at this resolution lark (at whatever time of year), here are my top ten tips:
1. Whatever it is, really want to do it otherwise you’re unlikely to succeed
and it will be one more thing for you to beat yourself up about
2. Be very clear about what your goal is
3. List the benefits to you and others of achieving your resolution:
a. What will be different?
b. How will you feel?
c. What will others notice about you?
4. What’s the consequence of not carrying out your resolution?
5. Be able to visualise yourself doing it, whatever it is, and of yourself
once you’ve reached your goal
6. Find a picture or some words that are relevant for you and your goal and
put them where you will see them when you waver – which you will, so be
prepared to power on through
7. Start with your goal and work back to now, identify small steps along the
way. Then you’ll know what your first action is and be able to take it
without delay
8. Set realistic deadlines for each step
9. Be kind to yourself and celebrate each step as it’s achieved
10. Work with others. Either find yourself a resolution buddy so that you can
keep each other going, or work with a coach!
Good luck – you can do this.
I'll be back with other New Year things this week.
Happy 2010 – you see, that doesn’t even look like a year…
Those of you who know me, will know that I can be a little contrary. I don’t really hold with New Year’s Resolutions – why should I do something just because everyone else is? I prefer to work to new goals when it makes sense to me to do so, I like Spring in terms of feeling of new beginnings. Not in terms of the first day of Spring, but that day when you first notice that the windows need washing.
If you’re going to have a crack at this resolution lark (at whatever time of year), here are my top ten tips:
1. Whatever it is, really want to do it otherwise you’re unlikely to succeed
and it will be one more thing for you to beat yourself up about
2. Be very clear about what your goal is
3. List the benefits to you and others of achieving your resolution:
a. What will be different?
b. How will you feel?
c. What will others notice about you?
4. What’s the consequence of not carrying out your resolution?
5. Be able to visualise yourself doing it, whatever it is, and of yourself
once you’ve reached your goal
6. Find a picture or some words that are relevant for you and your goal and
put them where you will see them when you waver – which you will, so be
prepared to power on through
7. Start with your goal and work back to now, identify small steps along the
way. Then you’ll know what your first action is and be able to take it
without delay
8. Set realistic deadlines for each step
9. Be kind to yourself and celebrate each step as it’s achieved
10. Work with others. Either find yourself a resolution buddy so that you can
keep each other going, or work with a coach!
Good luck – you can do this.
I'll be back with other New Year things this week.
Happy 2010 – you see, that doesn’t even look like a year…
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