As you know, today’s the first day of Lent when it’s traditional to give up something after the excesses of Shrove Tuesday – which seem pretty tame by 2010 standards. I can report that I made pancakes from scratch last night and without starting a house fire! So, the first thing I’ll be stopping is late night carbs – bad, bad, bad!
In recent years, I’ve noticed a trend towards taking something up rather than stopping a thing for the forty days of Lent. Whilst I appreciate this isn’t Lent proper, I’m all for whatever helps people make positive change in their lives, and it does come at a handy time to have another crack at those New Year’s resolutions.
I’ve had mixed success over the years with my Lenten commitments. The year I decided that I’d give up chocolate was going quite well until I realised that three weeks was only just halfway there. The same length of time again seemed beyond me and I caved with the view that if I was to give up something that I really liked, nearly six weeks was far too long a time to do it. Same story in the wine years.
I appreciate the irony here and that the self test is exactly that of giving up something you enjoy for a substantial period of time. However, I know that I – along with many others – am poor at deprivation, and that self care is an important part of being the best we can be.
So, I’m going to be giving up the negative self talk – you know the stuff. All the undermining chat we do to ourselves which holds us back. I know it won’t be easy – it’s a strongly ingrained habit that we do subconsciously – and I also know it’ll be really good for me to stop.
What will you do?
As writing things down helps with commitment:
I commit to stopping negative self talk for this period of Lent. Oh, and late night carbs too – in for a penny…
Wednesday, 17 February 2010
Sunday, 7 February 2010
International Coaching Week 2010
February 7th – 14th is the 15th International Coaching Week (ICW) organised by the International Coach Federation (ICF) of which I’m a member. The purpose of ICW is to educate the public about what coaching is and the benefits of working with a professional coach.
In this spirit, I’m offering free on line coaching for the whole of International Coaching Week to anyone who fancies it. Please get in touch if you do and also let others know about this.
Send e-mails to me at maggie@maggie-smith.co.uk
As I said, this coaching is available for free. I know some people are uncomfortable with something for nothing, so if you’d like to part with some cash, there are a number of charities I support and if you feel so moved you can make a donation to any of these – though please don’t feel obliged to do so.
Help for Heroes http://www.justgiving.com/MaggieSmithCoaching
The Alzheimers Society http://www.justgiving.com/MaggieSmithCoachingDonate
The City of London Migraine Clinic http://www.migraineclinic.org.uk/
If you’d like to more about International Coaching Week, here’s the link http://www.coachfederation.org/coachingweek/
In this spirit, I’m offering free on line coaching for the whole of International Coaching Week to anyone who fancies it. Please get in touch if you do and also let others know about this.
Send e-mails to me at maggie@maggie-smith.co.uk
As I said, this coaching is available for free. I know some people are uncomfortable with something for nothing, so if you’d like to part with some cash, there are a number of charities I support and if you feel so moved you can make a donation to any of these – though please don’t feel obliged to do so.
Help for Heroes http://www.justgiving.com/MaggieSmithCoaching
The Alzheimers Society http://www.justgiving.com/MaggieSmithCoachingDonate
The City of London Migraine Clinic http://www.migraineclinic.org.uk/
If you’d like to more about International Coaching Week, here’s the link http://www.coachfederation.org/coachingweek/
Saturday, 6 February 2010
New Year’s Resolution #5
A lot of us decide that in the New Year we’re going to be better at managing our money – often brought on by wondering on how we’re going to make it to the end of January after the expense of Christmas. Given that we’re now into February, we made it – hurrah!
If managing your money well doesn’t come naturally, don’t despair – there’s plenty of help out there from independent financial advisors (word of mouth the best way of finding a good one, if you don’t know anyone who has one, who do you know who manages his/her money well and ask them who they use) to organisations such as the Consumer Credit Counselling Service.
We sometimes make this decision because there’s something we want to save up for – as always be clear about what this is and what the benefits are to you and others of making this a reality. What are the repercussions if you can’t make this happen? Is there another way? I don’t mean stealing! If it’s something you want to buy, can you shop around – the internet has surely revolutionised the way we shop for everything – if you want to learn a new skill and can’t afford the training, is there an organisation for which you can volunteer and gain the skills that way?
Once you’ve reached your goal – let’s be positive – why not keep going? By that time you’ll have made the habit, which is the hard bit and there’s bound to be something else you’d like to save for. Keep going then you’ve made a long-term positive change out of a short-term goal.
As with all things – balance. T Harv Eker writes about money and our attitudes to it – he’s over in London later this month running his three day workshop on what it is that rich people do differently from the rest of us, which is great in a very shouty American which may not be to everyone’s taste. He maintains that we’re as rich as we are, and as adept at managing our money as we are because of our conditioning. That our outer wealth – or lack – is a demonstration of our beliefs which can, of course be changed.
He talks about balance and teaches a really simple method of achieving this – he’s big on simplification too. In his method, of course saving has its place, but he cautions against saving becoming a dominant habit, remember balance. To counteract this, and to keep the necessary discipline to keep saving for those who need that motivation, he also has a play fund which has to be spent at least once a month on something that is a pleasure or fun, a splurge.
Harv also says that you don’t need much to start this habit, whatever you can manage. The important thing is that you start to make a difference. Whatever you decide, don’t be having the same money conversation with yourself next New Year.
If managing your money well doesn’t come naturally, don’t despair – there’s plenty of help out there from independent financial advisors (word of mouth the best way of finding a good one, if you don’t know anyone who has one, who do you know who manages his/her money well and ask them who they use) to organisations such as the Consumer Credit Counselling Service.
We sometimes make this decision because there’s something we want to save up for – as always be clear about what this is and what the benefits are to you and others of making this a reality. What are the repercussions if you can’t make this happen? Is there another way? I don’t mean stealing! If it’s something you want to buy, can you shop around – the internet has surely revolutionised the way we shop for everything – if you want to learn a new skill and can’t afford the training, is there an organisation for which you can volunteer and gain the skills that way?
Once you’ve reached your goal – let’s be positive – why not keep going? By that time you’ll have made the habit, which is the hard bit and there’s bound to be something else you’d like to save for. Keep going then you’ve made a long-term positive change out of a short-term goal.
As with all things – balance. T Harv Eker writes about money and our attitudes to it – he’s over in London later this month running his three day workshop on what it is that rich people do differently from the rest of us, which is great in a very shouty American which may not be to everyone’s taste. He maintains that we’re as rich as we are, and as adept at managing our money as we are because of our conditioning. That our outer wealth – or lack – is a demonstration of our beliefs which can, of course be changed.
He talks about balance and teaches a really simple method of achieving this – he’s big on simplification too. In his method, of course saving has its place, but he cautions against saving becoming a dominant habit, remember balance. To counteract this, and to keep the necessary discipline to keep saving for those who need that motivation, he also has a play fund which has to be spent at least once a month on something that is a pleasure or fun, a splurge.
Harv also says that you don’t need much to start this habit, whatever you can manage. The important thing is that you start to make a difference. Whatever you decide, don’t be having the same money conversation with yourself next New Year.
Wednesday, 3 February 2010
New Year's Resolution #4
New year, new job
This is a common one. People who would usually move job sit tight from November postponing action until after Christmas. This together with increased reflection time over the holiday period persuades people that it’s the right time to make a change. Summer holidays can often have a similar result. More often than not, action is not taken before life as usual takes over again and there’s no time left to look for new work. And for many people that’s fine.
However, what if you really do want to change the job you do or where you work?
Firstly, ask yourself what it is that you like about your current job, and there will be something, so keep asking until you come up with something and that what it is that you would like to be different. This will help you to identify if you like the sort of work you do but would like to do it somewhere else or if you like where you work but not what you do, or none of the above.
A recurring theme in coaching sessions with people who are thinking about the work they want to do is that they’re not sure what it is that they want to do. The above questions will go some way to working that out. But here’s one, you have to pretend for a moment, so tell the nay saying voice in your head to take the next hour off – tell them for longer if you’re up for it, but that’s the subject of a whole different post.
If money were no object, whatever you decide to do the money you earn will buy you the lifestyle you want for yourself what would you do?
What sort of things would crop up in your day?
Where would you be? In one place? Indoors or out? In this town or another? In this country or another?
What sort of clothes would you be wearing?
Would you be working by yourself or with others, and if with others, what sort of people are they and what’s your relationship with them?
How would you feel at the end of your working day?
How would you feel as you get ready for the start of your working day?
Now, what sort of work will bring you those things?
Add to the questions. Mine is by no means a definitive list, just something to get you started.
Have some patience with this, it might take you a while to think this through and be creative about how you do that. If you think best in the bath or on a walk where there’s green, off you go. If you think better working at a keyboard or drawing on a huge piece of paper do that. No one need know but you, though of course you can work with someone else if you want to.
When you feel you have a good idea of the sort of thing you want to do, or the sort of place you’d like to work, plan backwards to today – remember, begin with the end in mind. That way you’ll know what you need to do first and can make a start.
I hope this helps
This is a common one. People who would usually move job sit tight from November postponing action until after Christmas. This together with increased reflection time over the holiday period persuades people that it’s the right time to make a change. Summer holidays can often have a similar result. More often than not, action is not taken before life as usual takes over again and there’s no time left to look for new work. And for many people that’s fine.
However, what if you really do want to change the job you do or where you work?
Firstly, ask yourself what it is that you like about your current job, and there will be something, so keep asking until you come up with something and that what it is that you would like to be different. This will help you to identify if you like the sort of work you do but would like to do it somewhere else or if you like where you work but not what you do, or none of the above.
A recurring theme in coaching sessions with people who are thinking about the work they want to do is that they’re not sure what it is that they want to do. The above questions will go some way to working that out. But here’s one, you have to pretend for a moment, so tell the nay saying voice in your head to take the next hour off – tell them for longer if you’re up for it, but that’s the subject of a whole different post.
If money were no object, whatever you decide to do the money you earn will buy you the lifestyle you want for yourself what would you do?
What sort of things would crop up in your day?
Where would you be? In one place? Indoors or out? In this town or another? In this country or another?
What sort of clothes would you be wearing?
Would you be working by yourself or with others, and if with others, what sort of people are they and what’s your relationship with them?
How would you feel at the end of your working day?
How would you feel as you get ready for the start of your working day?
Now, what sort of work will bring you those things?
Add to the questions. Mine is by no means a definitive list, just something to get you started.
Have some patience with this, it might take you a while to think this through and be creative about how you do that. If you think best in the bath or on a walk where there’s green, off you go. If you think better working at a keyboard or drawing on a huge piece of paper do that. No one need know but you, though of course you can work with someone else if you want to.
When you feel you have a good idea of the sort of thing you want to do, or the sort of place you’d like to work, plan backwards to today – remember, begin with the end in mind. That way you’ll know what you need to do first and can make a start.
I hope this helps
New Year's Resolution #3
Sorry about the gap - weary tales...
Another top ten resolution is to learn something new – pass an exam, learn a language or acquire a new skill.
As always, success will follow if you follow the top tips for new year’s resolutions (2nd Jan post) – what is it that has made you decide to learn something new? A common choice, is learning to speak a new language, often so that we can talk to the locals on our summer holiday rather than assuming that everyone can speak English. This choice is probably linked to the fact that at the start of the year our days are short and cold – especially this year when I didn’t think I’d ever feel the warmth of the sun on my skin again, I’m still not quite convinced – together with the Boxing Day tradition of running summer holiday adverts – along with those for new sofas, what’s with that?
Anyway, to have best chance of making it stick, begin with the end in sight. Be clear about why you want to learn this new thing and what the benefits of doing so will be to you.
Next, do some research – make sure that you can afford the undertaking in both time and money, don’t let either of these reasons be an excuse for not going ahead though, find a work around. If you really want to do it, you’ll find one and if you don’t, fine, go with the excuse, better now than when you’re underway. Giving up is so depressing.
As always, make sure you’re clear of the benefits. These will keep you going when it’s much easier to curl up in front of the fire and watch TV rather than take action.
If you can, get a study-buddy. Great if it’s someone with whom you can share the same experience. But if not, someone else who is committing to learn something new too will definitely do. You can help keep each other going, you have that responsibility to someone other than yourself and you can congratulate each other on your progress as you go along.
Use what’s out there. There are so many resources available to help – including financial help. This goes back to the research. Find out what’s available to you for what you want to do and make use of it to help you reach your goal – learn from others who’ve trodden the path and made it.
It might not always be easy, but if it’s worthwhile, that won’t matter by the time you get to the end. It’ll just be one more cause for celebration. It wasn’t easy, but you were resilient and kept going – possibly another skill you’ll have learnt.
Good luck!
Another top ten resolution is to learn something new – pass an exam, learn a language or acquire a new skill.
As always, success will follow if you follow the top tips for new year’s resolutions (2nd Jan post) – what is it that has made you decide to learn something new? A common choice, is learning to speak a new language, often so that we can talk to the locals on our summer holiday rather than assuming that everyone can speak English. This choice is probably linked to the fact that at the start of the year our days are short and cold – especially this year when I didn’t think I’d ever feel the warmth of the sun on my skin again, I’m still not quite convinced – together with the Boxing Day tradition of running summer holiday adverts – along with those for new sofas, what’s with that?
Anyway, to have best chance of making it stick, begin with the end in sight. Be clear about why you want to learn this new thing and what the benefits of doing so will be to you.
Next, do some research – make sure that you can afford the undertaking in both time and money, don’t let either of these reasons be an excuse for not going ahead though, find a work around. If you really want to do it, you’ll find one and if you don’t, fine, go with the excuse, better now than when you’re underway. Giving up is so depressing.
As always, make sure you’re clear of the benefits. These will keep you going when it’s much easier to curl up in front of the fire and watch TV rather than take action.
If you can, get a study-buddy. Great if it’s someone with whom you can share the same experience. But if not, someone else who is committing to learn something new too will definitely do. You can help keep each other going, you have that responsibility to someone other than yourself and you can congratulate each other on your progress as you go along.
Use what’s out there. There are so many resources available to help – including financial help. This goes back to the research. Find out what’s available to you for what you want to do and make use of it to help you reach your goal – learn from others who’ve trodden the path and made it.
It might not always be easy, but if it’s worthwhile, that won’t matter by the time you get to the end. It’ll just be one more cause for celebration. It wasn’t easy, but you were resilient and kept going – possibly another skill you’ll have learnt.
Good luck!
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